


he makes me happy

by lun_a



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Break Up Talk, HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY MOIRA'S LATEST MV, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, This is Bad, Unbeta-ed, Weddings, how do u say broken weddings in the tags, runaway groom (?) hoshi, third party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:54:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lun_a/pseuds/lun_a
Summary: Soonyoung drops Jihoon's hand and leaves him on the altar.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	he makes me happy

**Author's Note:**

> i cannot believe i am letting myself publish this fic that i hastily wrote within an hour because i was feeling too much emotions? and first soonhoon fic on this account AT THAT? i think i will regret this but i have to do this lmao
> 
> but seriously, hello! this isn't the first time i attempted to write a soonhoon fic (i have more than 10 unfinished ones in my drafts) but this is definitely the first time i am publishing one here. anyways, this is written out of whim after watching a certain heartbreaking music video. this is a little different from what was there because i felt like had to give sh a different story. anyways, i know this is lame but i hope u enjoy :))

He realizes that moment, Soonyoung indeed is his runaway prince.

It was when Jihoon said 'I do' with all of his heart, only to be answered with complete silence by his groom— apologies swarming in his eyes as Jihoon looked into them, waiting for an answer. Soonyoung dropped his head and a tear fell on Jihoon's hand that the other was holding.

Their story ended with a broken vow and a heavy silence that carried the weight of all the questions Jihoon seemed to have the answers already but is not able to face yet. Soonyoung left taking with him his share of their promises along with Jihoon's heart he is not sure he'd be willing to take back.

However, Soonyoung was there in their shared apartment when Jihoon went home, at almost midnight with puffy eyes and disheveled shirt. The former wasn't any better with his black suit off, sleeves rolled and hair looking like he messed it up a hundred times an hour.

Jihoon sits on the couch across where Soonyoung slouched. He didn't have the urge to give a small smile as the hurt was evident in both of them, the silent sniffs coming from Jihoon a proof of it.

Another long stretch of silence enveloped the room, and Jihoon was patient enough to sit there and watch Soonyoung's still figure.

There was a sharp inhale and, "He makes me happy."

And as if Soonyoung leaving him crestfallen on the altar just hours ago wasn't enough to break his heart, the words he just spoke just broke him more. Jihoon metaphorically feels himself being spiked by the shards of his own breaking heart.

Still, he meets Soonyoung's eyes with a sad smile and asks, "Does he know?"

Soonyoung hesitates but says, "No."

"Then you should tell him," Jihoon assures, his own voice starting to break and he knows it, "He deserves to know and you deserve to be happy, Soonyoung."

"I'm sorry, Jihoon," Soonyoung starts to sob and only if Jihoon could be any stronger, he would have stood up and hugged Soonyoung. But he can't.

"I wasn't enough, was I?" Jihoon says.

"No. You were more than enough, Jihoon. But," Soonyoung replies, trying his best to not sob louder with his every word, "you just gave me so much and somewhere along the way, I lost myself.

"Jihoon, I do not deserve you. You have so much love to give and we both know I am not capable of giving them back equally," Jihoon stays silent as Soonyoung continues, "I just- I just fell out of the many love songs you've given me and maybe I am only deserving of little happiness and I am very sorry, Jihoon, if I was too greedy to have tied you to me for so long, I—"

"Soonyoung, breathe," he says as if he is not yet wheezing for air as he silently cries.

The other only nods, "I strayed too far, I know. You gave me so much I did not know what to do with it that I had to turn away. It's not your fault, Jihoon. I'm sorry."

Jihoon did not speak for a while.

"I'm sorry."

Bloodshot eyes met Jihoon's as he started.

"I'm sorry, Soonyoung, for all those years. I am sorry for keeping you for so long. I was selfish for always trying too hard and not letting you loose," Soonyoung was shking his head to every statement but Jihoon only continues, "You truly deserve the best, I wasn't wrong with that," a chuckle.

"But I guess, someone else's best is what you need. And it's okay, Soonyoung. The years I spent with you aren't going to waste. If anything, I should be thankful for all of it. Those were and will always be the best moments of my life," Jihoon says, the tears coming to a halt only for them to drop again when Soonyoung finally sits beside him and hugging him tight. The sobs from Soonyoung were clearer now and Jihoon thinks of all the ways to make him stop but knowing the man, he won't stop crying until he's out of breath.

"Thank you for all the memories, Jihoon. I am always the happiest when I am with you."

Jihoon nods and silently he responds, "But you can be happier."

If he wasn't wrong, Soonyoung whimpers. A hushed reply is what he gets, "Thank you so much, Jihoon. Please find someone better than me. Someone who could give you more than what I was able to give you."

Jihoon nods once again.

What he cannot say is that Soonyoung has given him more than what he wanted. The happiness and contentment he got from the other was exceptional and Jihoon wonders how long would he take to forget Soonyoung, or if he ever will. If only he could, he would not allow Soonyoung to go but it hurts him enough that Soonyoung is here in his arms right now but is not where he wants to be.

"I loved you," Soonyoung says, quieter this time. "I truly did. And we tried, didn't we? It's just that-"

"We aren't for each other," Jihoon almost winced at his own words, "But yeah, we tried."

Jihoon stares at Soonyoung for a very long time in the silence they shared. He still looked beautiful to Jihoon even when he cries. Soonyoung still glows through a heartbreak and Jihoon gathers all strength to be able to memorize Soonyoung's face this close— his slanted eyes, his rarely seen dimples, the slope of his nose, his pouty lips. Everything. Even the callouses on Soonyoung's hand, the size of his fingers and the spaces between them Jihoon knows he'll never have the chance to fit with his again.

This is goodbye. And as he looks into Soonyoung's eyes, a thousand apologies were there again and Jihoon kisses them away.

"I wish I'd wake up beside you for one more morning. But I've had eight years doing that and I won't be selfish anymore," Jihoon says, two or more drops of tears rolls down his cheeks. Soonyoung wipes them away and Jihoon wished he didn't.

"Just remember this, Soonyoung," he cups Soonyoung's face and stares into his eyes, "when you go, bring a piece of my heart and make it your own. So when you need to patch up tiny pieces of yours along the way that I'm not with you, know that you are never alone."

He kisses Soonyoung the last time. For the latter, it should be freeing— letting go. 

But for Jihoon, it's a seal that this is where he stops; and he may move on with his life but never from his first and last love that is Kwon Soonyoung.

**Author's Note:**

> i did not mention who is soonyoung's OTHER one because i'd like to leave it to y'all's preferences whoever you want it to be. but of course i have a certain someone in mind :))
> 
> also, if you spotted the shawn mendes reference there, we can be friends. *wink wink*


End file.
